I was fine with my step daughter using my bathroom in the past, to shower and put on her make up. However, now things are a bit different. I have had a few clothes disappear (she was wearing them in pictures on facebook!) And to make it even worse she tried to insinuate that I took a shirt of hers that she misplaced (we found in the laundry) Now it’s time for them to visit again, the new house has a very small bathroom for the the kids and I know she will want to use my bathroom. I’m just not comfortable with her having access to ALL my belongings and make up with out me right there. Is this too harsh? Or should I just make her stick it out and use the small bathroom with bad lighting? She is very high maintenance and brings TONS of things…..I just don’t want what I have messed, or missing!
Yes I do have 100% support of the father. It is a severe parental alienation case none the less. This is only one of the many horrible things, that I’m sure she’s been either put up to do to us or feels is "Ok" because we are "bad" people. Thanks for the answers. We do have much in common, the alienation hurts all of that though.
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I’d tell her flat out NO! She was givin the chance to use your bathroom, NOT your things. Tell her she disrespected you and your things in taking them without asking so she no longer has the priveledge of using YOUR bathroom! Just because she TRIES to be HIGH MAINTAINENCE DOES NOT MEAN you have to give in to it! DO NOT give in to her, you NEED to teach her a LESSON!
i wouldnt let her in there unless you want stuff to disappear again
While shes there just try to clean up a bit and dont leave anything valuable or anything that u really like there. Put it somewhere more private. Maybe you should also tell her to keep her stuff in her room because its so crowded and stuff. You are the boss of her.
No. Make her use the other bathroom. Since you have reasonable evidence that she stole your clothes, do not let her get that chance again!
Just ask her to tell you if she wants to borrow something.
I can’t believe that a father would want his daughter walking on eggshells in her own home. Oh well. Divorce truly stinks.
Perhaps you should offer to let her look at your clothes right from the start and let her know the if she’d like to borrow anything, to let you know. If she needs any make-up or feminine items, to let you know. Step-daughter is daughter. She’s as good as blood.
However, if the rule is for the children to use the small bathroom, then that’s the rule. It doesn’t have to make sense to the children, they need to respect your rule simply because you’re the parent. I wonder how old the children are. If your step-daughter is considerably older, it may be necessary for her to not be in the kid zone. Of course, you’ll have to let it be known that items need to remain in order or it will be back to the other bathroom. Do you have the support of her father, because he can always let her know that (if she doesn’t respect the space) she is not entitled to use the adult’s bathroom anymore. Don’t let yourself be the ‘bad step-mom’, let him be the good dad.
Have you told her you don’t want her borrowing your stuff? Maybe she tried to imply you took something of her’s because she felt guilty about borrowing your stuff, and was hoping you’d be light-hearted about it?
Try to come to an agreement with her. Say she can use the bathroom as long as she does her part to keep it organized, and make clear to her what she can and cannot use. As long as some ground rules are in place, then it’s clear who is doing wrong. If she breaks the rules, then fair enough, ban her from your bathroom. But if she sticks to an agreement, then I think it’s fair she should be allowed to use it. As long as you both know where you stand, then there shouldn’t be any unjustified arguments.
Also, I think you should take it as a compliment that she obviously likes your clothes and make-up. That kind of suggests she looks up to you, would even like to be like you. At least you can agree on tastes. Just talk to her, because you seem to have far more in common than you realise.
no she shouldn’t be allowed in your bathroom anymore.
My son uses our master bathroom to take showers and stuff. My 10yr old daughter uses it to dry her hair with our hair dryer. One I saw that someone clearly was playing with my make up and other things I put my foot down.
I show it to them and explained that I haven’t used them in awhile but someone had opened the powder and spilled it, someone had opened some perfume (smelled up the whole bathroom) & someone had dug into some eye shadow.
They both did the "I didn’t do it!" & my son "Why would I?" but I explained how they were the last two people in there and I wasn’t happy with what I saw.
From now on when they are in there I make the door stay open. When my son showers or something in there he is allowed to shut the door but as soon as the shower turns off & he is dressed the door is back opened.
Talk to your husband about this since it is his daughter.
She has stolen your belongings from you, the very least you should do is ban her from your personal space. If she throws a fit over it point out that there is irrefutable evidence that she has messed with your belongings, and you are just avoiding a repeat. If she presses the issue farther, tell her that she has proven to be untrustworthy and that she can always go home if she doesn’t like it.
It’s YOUR home, regardless of his children coming to visit, don’t let her make your home a hell~hole.